Nicole Cleveland and Breathe Again Magazine

Tag: marriage

  • Express Your Feelings with Your Spouse

    After the Affair Tip:

    Express Your Feelings with Your Spouse

    Just the other day I was feeling a certain way and trust me, the way was not good.

    It’s been 5 years since the affair and I won’t lie, I still have some down days. ( not many, but they do arise ) Days that I relive the pain and betrayal of the cheating.

    Sorry, I’m not super woman nor a super saint. Unfortunately many people expect this of me, but it’s just not possible. I am just a woman that depends on the Lord for strength to get by each day.

    When these feelings overwhelm me ,I don’t keep them to myself. I go to the Lord and then to my friend, which is my husband, to discuss how I feel. And you know the surprising part? He listens to me vent and provides me with actionable steps to get past this episode. He doesn’t say – “Why are we still dealing with this?”, “Aren’t you over it ?” or “I don’t want to discuss this”, as some would expect.

    No one knows me better than my husband. He is my friend, comedy partner and lover. I just love him. He understands that each day will not be blissful ,so he prepares for the next episode. Be it tomorrow or in 3 yrs.

    My tip is to be open and share how you feel, when you feel it with your spouse. Don’t wait until later, do it when it occurs, and it will occur. Talk through it.

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  • Should We Forgive ?

    Forgiveness is key after an affair in your relationship.
    It’s impossible to move on with unforgiveness.

    When we don’t forgive, we are setting ourselves up to be miserable.

    Oh, let me tell you, my initial reaction to the affair in my marriage had nothing to do with forgiveness.
    I was hurt, therefore I wanted him to hurt.

    Nicole wanted revenge !

    This is a human reaction ( or at least it was mine ).
    These were emotions and feelings I could not get past without prayer. As I began to reflect on my transgressions
    and how thankful I was for my sins being forgiven, it was much easier to forgive. My faith tells me that I must forgive.
    If we don’t forgive, we will not be forgiven. It works two ways.

    “forgive us of our trespasses, as we forgive those whe tresspass against us”

    That is part of The Lords Prayer.

    We recite this, but do we mean it?

    It’s easier to forgive when we we know we have been forgiven.

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