Nicole Cleveland and Breathe Again Magazine

Tag: so he cheated now what?

  • Women and Men are Still Hurting

    Happy New Year !

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    2010 was a good year, I can’t complain and won’t complain. My book was released and boy was that a ride.

    One thing is for sure – Women are still hurting from affairs. They may still be in the marriage, but they are hurting.Some are still bitter and some are just broken.

    When “So He Cheated, Now What? was released I heard from people all over. Men and women ( because men are hurting too)

    One of the reasons for the bitterness is rebuilding the trust.

    I always say “taking him back was the easy part,rebuilding trust was very hard”. One reason the trust was restored in my marriage was because my husband “showed up”. He participated in the process of rebuilding the trust. Some women I talk to are trying to rebuild it by themselves. The husband says, ” I said I’m sorry, get over it.”

    Newsflash!

    Rebuilding trust is not easy and it takes both parties. The two of you have to participate in the process and it is a process.

    Below are 3 steps to rebuilding trust.

    1. Comfort her not just with words but with your actions

    2. Listen – When she has a flashback, listen to her feelings, don’t downplay them.Tell her you understand and say, ” I am truly sorry, baby.”

    3. Counsel – If you feel you need to speak with someone, please do.

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  • Founders of DayStar TV deal with Infidelity

    Infidelity is not uncommon, it happens everyday. Right now, someone has just discovered that their spouse has
    been cheating.Their world is about to be turned upside down.

    On the November 30th airing of “Celebration” with Daystar TV founders Marc & Joni Lamb, adultery and overcoming an affair was the topic. You see the Lamb’s announced that their marriage was recovering from an affair.Why it happened and who it happened with is irrelevant. My heart goes out to the Lambs and every couple that is dealing with adultery.

    Listening to Joni talk I felt her pain (and her shame).You just want to run to the nearest rock and hope that
    it is big enough to hide under. But that doesn’t solve anything.

    From reading the different posts regarding the affair, it seems like everyone has an expert opinion and has sent Marc to hell a few times.

    God is a forgiving God and if Joni made the decision to stay and rebuild their marriage, then more power to
    her.It’s not any of our business.

    God Bless Marc & Joni Lamb.  They have a platform that can reach the masses. Together we all can tell our stories and let the world know that God can heal and restore marriages, even after an affair.He did it for me and that is why I wrote the book “So he Cheated, Now What?”, my personal story of overcoming an affair in my marriage. And he has done it for Marc & Joni Lamb,founders of Daystar Television. Go God!

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  • Will My Marriage Last ?

    Love & Marriage Column

    Change Gospel Newspaper ( July 2010 )

    NICOLE

    Will My Marriage Last ?

    By Nicole Cleveland

    Recently I had a conversation with  a single sister.

    “I’m scared to get married”, she said “look at what happened to you.”

    Truth be told many singles feel this way. Some voice their concerns and some run before the relationship gets too serious. The power couples once looked upon as the epitome of marriage are quickly fading away. High profile celebrities and leaders of mega ministries are now separated or divorced.

    Look at Al & Tipper Gore, divorcing after 40 years of marriage.
    To spend 40 years with one person and “grow apart” is sad.
    Instead of “growing apart” my question would be “how do we grow closer ?”
    “How do we make this work?“ Dreams of once growing old with each other and enjoying
    their senior years together are shattered.

    People are dissolving their marriage after 20,30 and 40 plus years. The kids are grown , out of the house and the parents decide they don’t know or like each other.

    Everyday someone is in divorce court testifying about infidelity, domestic violence, sex and communication.

    Will My Marriage Last?

    Yes, it can.

    It takes hard work, commitment and most important, God to make a marriage work.

    Marriage is a threesome. God, Husband & Wife. It’s similar to a triangle and God is at the top. In my opinion a marriage cannot survive without God. He is the source and the foundation. Without him, two very different people are trying to become one on their own. With  God , two people that believe in him are merging into one, sharing the same faith, principles and love. It’s not forced because we share the characteristics of the almighty.

    Will your love be tested?

    ABSOLUTELY!

    What relationship is not tested?

    Take my marriage for instance. It was almost destroyed due to an affair. An affair that produced a child. My marriage seemed hopeless and just when I thought it was over  God restored the love and trust and I am ever so grateful. We are not only lovers but we are now friends. My husband and I had to “grow” through what we went through so that God could get the glory from the restoration. The process was not easy, but it was well worth it. Marriage between a woman and a man is honorable.

    You may be saying  – “ But my marriage is horrible, it can not be fixed.”

    God can take a broken marriage and put it back together again. He takes little love and makes much. Falling out of love is not an option in God.

    I am a living testimony of God being at the top of my marriage triangle. Is he at the top of yours? If not, do some adjusting.

    Can Marriage Work?

    Yes it can , if you work it.

    Stay Blessed

    Nicole Cleveland is a minister ,motivational speaker  and author of “So He Cheated, Now What?”
    Visit her online at www.nicoleconline.com or email her at nicoleconline@gmail.com